so this is 20

"You're twenty, do you feel any different?"

"No."

But, you see, I thought I would.

Age is a surprisingly fickle thing. I always expect so much out of a certain age, projecting myself forward into the years, imagining how grown-up, mature, and changed I will be. When I was 12 I thought of 18-year-old Breanna with such awe and respect, but when I was 18 I still looked up to that ever-teasing shadow of grown-up Breanna. I've been chasing her through the years. Now, my latest projection is that of a worldly-wise, elegant, svelte, poised 25 year-old Breanna. Shockingly I imagined that exact same vision for 16 year-old Breanna. Some things don't change through the years... and I am among them.

For 20 I had great ambitions of maturity, beauty, and charisma but instead what I find is this strange child. You see, twenty year-olds are not supposed to pounce on there almost-sleeping parents late at night. Twenty year-olds are not supposed to get into tickle wars with their Daddies.  They are not supposed to stick their tongues out at their little sisters. They are not supposed to laugh at bodily noises. They are not supposed to slide down the banisters of the state capital. Twenty year-olds are not supposed to be silly, goofy, awkward, or immature. And yet, somehow, I find that I - twenty year-old Breanna - am all of the above. And yet, somehow, I am strangely pleased with this Breanna. Strange child though I may be, I'm loving life.